Fourteen Canines/Valentine Orchids

Week Two, February 2008

A PLANTLADY’S LIFE IN GEEKATOPIA

This Week’s Poetry: the last four lines from “Inscription on the Monument of a Newfoundland Dog”” by Lord Byron

“Ye! who perchance behold this simple urn,
Pass on - it honours none you wish to mourn:
To mark a friend’s remains these stones arise;
I never knew but one, - and here he lies.”

Actually there is nothing “simple” about the monument Lord Byron raised to his dog, Boatswain, on the grounds of Newstead Abbey - it towers over the back lawn. Byron surely loved that pooch! By the way, Boatswain is said to haunt the Abbey - there have been many reports of a black and white dog spotted on the grounds and on the roof (!) of the Abbey.

My close friends will be astonished that this week’s post is on the topic of canines - specifically dogs that share my workplace. It is safe to say I am not a “dog person”. It is not that I ever disliked the beasts - I didn’t really know the species well enough to develop an active antipathy (Though I fail to understand how creatures as people-pleasing as they are said to be never figure out that there are some things unacceptable in polite human society - sniffing, drooling, licking - yuk!).

I owned a dog for all of six months back in the ‘70s - before the two of us came to an amicable parting of the ways. Amber moved to a home beside a small lake where she could leap off the dock anytime she wished - I went back to cats, with the knowledge that dogs would never be a part of my life. (She was a full sister to President Ford’s golden retriever - no doubt too grand a personage for the likes of me.).

As it turned out though, I was wrong to believe dogs would play no part in my life. Dogs are everywhere in Geekatopia - in commercial as well as residential settings. In fact, the last few years I have noticed a huge increase in people bringing their dogs to work with them. Currently there are fourteen canines on my route, though most are part-timers I see only once in a while.

At first I didn’t deal well with this canine presence in my life - they made me nervous (not to mention they made my eyes itch and my nose run). They followed me around, licked water out of my watering can, grabbed the lamb’s wool duster out of my hand - and generally “dogged” my heels as I proceeded from plant to plant. When the critters were in evidence I did my job as fast as I could and got out of the accounts double-time.

It puzzled me that the dogs seemed to actually adore me! They greeted me at the door wagging and slobbering as if I rained doggy treats from trembling fingers. What was up with that, I wondered. Over the years my routine compelled me to interact with these alien four-footed clients of mine, learning a few things along the way about them - and about myself. Eventually it dawned on me that I missed them when they were off to the groomers or out for “walkies” with their owners. I had come to look forward to their joyous, unconditional companionship while I worked!

Lord Byron would have smiled at that. I never understood his poem on any level before I was thrown into the world of dogs (not the same as being thrown to the dogs, I will have you know). I thank the lovely canines who grace my work week for their patience with my stupidity and denseness. They have helped me realize that though they are certainly not human they are valuable and interesting individuals in their own right - a concept that is obvious to any dog lover but was a major revelation to me. These days I realize that I don’t have to understand dogs to respect and appreciate them - or for that matter any other creature, non-human and human alike. An important life lesson!

So, I thank the canines of Geekatopia:
Ginger - my supervisor’s Rottweiler/?-combo-plate who sits at my feet during staff meetings and expects organic vegetarian dog biscuits.

Sophie, a liver and white Springer Spaniel, and her pal Belle, a white teacup toy poodle, who “work” at the convalescent center, spreading love to the elderly and ill humans receiving treatment there.

Frankie and Abbie - both golden retrievers but as different as night and day - Frankie being bold, brash and not to be thwarted, Abbie being timid and gentle as an upcountry doe.

Cisco and Oz - huge wooly Bouvier des Flanders that resemble sheep though there is nothing sheepish about either dog. Cisco is a mountain of mush and cuddle. Oz however is frankly a hundred-pound loose cannon I am glad to see crated when I arrive. I doubt he would bite me but if he fell on me . . . well, that is another thing entirely.

Ellie Mae - a Shih-Tzu bundle of fluff and energy who keeps everyone hopping at the Pine Lake Columbia Athletic Club.

And to all the rest of my Maltese-terrier-labradoodle-husky-wirehair-misc coworkers out there: thanks guys!

THIS WEEK’S PLANT CARE TIP: Valentine Orchids

Next week many of you will receive orchid plants as Valentine’s Day gifts. Now what? Do not panic - orchids are as pretty as prom queens but they are not as high-maintenance as you might think. The trick is to understand something of their nature.

There are over 20,000 species of orchids in the world - four times the number of species than mammals and birds put together. Lucky for us only four of those species are routinely kept as houseplants: Cymbidium, Dendrobium, Oncidium, and Phalaenopsis. That improves the odds of success quite a bit, don’t you think?

And chances are if you have received an orchid it is most likely a Phalaenopsis (moth orchid). So, let us just assume that is what you have. This orchid (and most other orchids) is an epiphyte, meaning that in its natural habitat it spends its life clinging to trees. Its roots are adapted to grip bark and absorb any rain water that washes over them.

Notice that your orchid is potted in bark chips or moss, not soil. It does not need potting soil. I think the easiest way to water this plant is to take it to the kitchen sink and spray it thoroughly with luke warm water, making sure to dampen all the air roots hanging out over the side of the pot. Let the plant drain so that it is not sitting in water. As to how often you will water it, since these plants store quite a lot of moisture in their roots and leaves, once a week is generally enough. Remember that water is not food! Buy some orchid fertilizer and use it. Place your plant in a location where it gets medium to bright light most of the day (no hot sunshine however - direct sun will burn it) and it should thrive. When the flowers fall off, cut the bare flower stem back to about six inches in length and it may re-bloom from that point. Happy Valentine’s Day!