Cha-cha-cha-Changes/Gnaughty Gnatshttp://www.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gif

Week One, March 2008



Bytevue Cranes





A PLANTLADY’S LIFE IN GEEKATOPIA




Haiku Haiku:

Fingers counting sounds
Five, then five and two - poems
Leaping from my hands!


The official bird of Geekatopia is the crane (I recently counted fifteen construction cranes cantilevered over the skyline). A few years ago Bytevue decided that buildings at the heart of this Microsoft metropolis were outdated, suburban and funky-looking - not at all 21st century. So they bulldozed the entire downtown core and started over. Each week, new buildings rise from the depths of their six-story underground parking garages. It is like watching mushrooms erupting overnight from a compost pile. It has gotten so that when I leave an account I never know if it’s going to be there when I get back.

I calculated that I have spent at least two years of my life waiting for slow elevators in high-rises, with little else to do but observe people and concoct theories about their behavior. By now I have theories on pretty much every human activity - none worth a hill of beans no doubt, but it passes time before the little ding announces my flight to floor twelve and beyond.

Prompted by trying to wedge myself and my water tank onto the North Parking Garage elevator at Overlake Hospital in a throng of amply proportioned Geekatopians I came up with two theories to account for the current obesity “epidemic”. We have all heard (and noticed) that Americans are larger than they used to be - no question about it. Diabetes and heart disease is rampant upon the land. It may be lean times economically in this country but you couldn’t tell it by the heft of its citizenry.

And the media is alive with speculation as to the cause of this phenomenon: television? fast food? megalithic portion sizes? sedentary lifestyle? yo-yo dieting? global warming? (Why not, it’s blamed for everything else!) Here are my two theories to add the confusion: 1. The Binky Theory, and 2. The Glutenization of America Theory.

1. The Binky Theory (with apologies to the Binky company - it isn’t their fault their product has been misused any more than it is the fault of Smith and Wesson when someone . . . well, you have heard that argument before, no doubt.). Notice how any time an infant opens its mouth to express discomfort, boredom, anger, hunger, or any other human condition, someone stuffs a rubber plug in its mouth? Is it any wonder that by the time these children grow up they are in the habit of stuffing their faces to comfort themselves? We are talking emotional eating here. Depressed? Eat a pizza. Happy? Eat a pizza with extra cheese and anchovies. Bad breakup or breakout? Quart of Ben and Jerry’s time!

In case you didn’t know, this is a relatively new phenomenon, going back only a few generations. Pacifiers were unknown to my mother’s generation, and to mine (There were “teething rings” but they didn’t serve quite the same purpose as the nipple-shaped pacifiers.). Pacifiers began to be used in the sixties, though I never did give one to my own son (He is skinny as a rail which might help prove my theory - though he does smoke - a symptom of binky depravation? I feel a whole new theory percolating.).

2. This second theory has all the signs of being a conspiracy theory - I call it the Glutenization of America Theory. Within the last fifty years the American diet has become thoroughly polluted with poisonous amounts of gluten! I began to notice this when I went gluten-free ten years ago.

My mother and I have celiac disease which is a hereditary autoimmune disorder characterized by a toxic reaction to gluten - gluten is a protein in grains, particularly wheat, rye, and barley. One person in 133 has celiac disease, though most do not know they have it. The symptoms of celiac are wide ranging and are often misdiagnosed. Because this disease is potentially life-threatening, people with celiac must not eat anything containing gluten - ever! Check out the Celiac Disease Foundation for lots of great information on this common but little-known disorder at: celiac.org

The reason this is pertinent is that until I started reading the ingredients of every packaged item in the grocery store so as to avoid an accidental dose of gluten I was totally unaware that there are very few food products that do NOT contain gluten. If you doubt this, try to find a can of soup that does not list wheat in the ingredients. You will find at most a handful - Progresso offers the most “safe” soups. Campbell’s Soup dominates the soup aisle but makes only one or two soups that do not list wheat - but even those are unlikely to be safe since they are produced in factories where wheat-containing soups are processed. Boy, do I miss Campbell’s Tomato Soup!

Note: Here is my favorite site about living gluten-free. Lots of recipes and ideas from fellow Seattle writer Shauna James Ahern - glutenfreegirl.blogspot.com

And if you try eating out? Good luck. Certainly you are out of luck where it comes to fast food. It is pizza, sandwiches, breaded fried food, and pasta as far as the eye can see - all of it off limits to people with celiac. I am actually not as off topic as you may think. What I am attempting to point out is that the modern American diet is so wheat-dominated that a person has to consciously struggle to avoid it. Such was not the case even fifty years ago. Back in the 1950s eating out at restaurants was something reserved for special occasions and the American family home dinner was typically meat-veg-potato with maybe a biscuit on the side. Sure, you had wheat but it wasn’t in every single thing you ate - which is likely to be the case today!

And now think what it is you feed cattle when you are fattening them up for slaughter. Vegetarians and city folk may not realize it but you fatten cattle with GRAIN. Lots of grain. Which is exactly what most Americans are doing to themselves - fattening themselves and their kids with grain in everything they eat until they waddle out upon the world wondering wha-happened??? Who is responsible for this deplorable state of affairs? Who stands to gain? Wheat farmers, heart surgeons, plus-size jeans makers, diet gurus?

(Of course I personally, intentionally maintain a few extra pounds since at any time I could be exposed to a fragment of gluten and be unable to digest anything for a week or two - that’s my story, and I am sticking to it!)


Plant Care Tip: Gnaughty Gnats

Fungus Gnats are tiny black flying critters that get their thrills flying up the noses of office workers. They are so annoying they have been known to drive sane computer jockeys into windmilling out fourth floor windows. Fungus gnats, as the name implies, eat fungi - usually in wet potting soil though they are also found in floor drains or anywhere else they find a crop of yummy fungi.

Fungus gnats can be especially difficult to control once they take up residence in your office plant’s soil, therefor the best plan is prevention. Soil that stays wet too long is the perfect environment for rot, mildew, and fungus so try to keep your plants on the dry side - let the surface of the soil dry down a bit before you rewater. If the pot has drainage holes in the bottom (which it should) try watering into a saucer instead of over the soil surface where the fly eggs await activation. If you know you have gnats in the soil already shake the contaminated soil off the roots and replant in fresh, sterilized potting soil. Then do not over-water your plant again or expect a repeat invasion of UFGs (uninvited fungus gnats).