Week Three, March 2008
A PLANTLADY’S LIFE IN GEEKATOPIA
Kentia Palm
March Haiku:
Whirling wind twists
yesterday’s news end over end
toward the misty bay.
This week the Boss Plantlady took me and my new route partner, Molly, and fellow Geekatopian plantladys Donna and Heather out to lunch - all in the name of “team building”. But whatever else you call it, a treat is a treat! She left the choice of venue to me - an easy choice since one of my clients is Newport Bay Restaurant in northwest Geekatopia. I love this restaurant because it has by far the cleanest kitchen of any I have ever seen - and over the years I have seen my share of restaurant kitchens.
Plantladys service restaurants early in the morning before they open, entering from the loading dock at the back of the kitchen, pushing between cliffs of produce boxes and filling their buckets at the deep stainless steel sinks in the dishwashing area. We see kitchens at their worst, when the prep work is in full fury - knives, sauté pans, and vegetables flying through the steamy air, a boombox filling the space with guitar solos at nosebleed volume. It always amazes me that a restful dining experience is born of all this chaos.
It might surprise you to learn that not all restaurants are as squeaky clean at Newport Bay. I am not talking about the obvious gross-outs like backed-up drains and vermin -the health department zooms through every blue moon and shuts down restaurants with that kind of crud. No, I am talking about establishments that seem to have no knowledge of germ theory.
There is one place (that shall remain nameless - though maybe as a public service I should blow the whistle on them) that actually uses leaf blowers to blow the dirt out from under the booths and tables into the center of the dining room where it is then vacuumed up - this process taking place while the tables are already set with water glasses and tableware. Where do they think the dust clouds of shoe dirt will settle? I wouldn’t eat at Restaurant X on a bet.
On one occasion they were actually jackhammering out a clogged floor drain in the kitchen while five feet away the cook was busily concocting the bean and bacon soup. I swear, their menus ought to have warning labels on their grimy covers!
Newport Bay is the polar opposite of Restaurant X. Every surface in their kitchen gleams with cleanly virtue - floors, walls, counters, appliances shining like a summer morning. It is a total joy how neat and sanitary that kitchen is. They have inspired me to completely reorganize my own kitchen - a job I intend to tackle this weekend.
But I digress. Another reason I picked Newport Bay for our team building lunch is that they have lots of wonderful gluten-free selections. They specialize in fish which they cook to perfection - mostly in its pure unbreaded state. It is bliss for someone with celiac to be able to order grilled wild-caught sockeye salmon with garlic mashed potatoes and brilliant emerald green asparagus - bliss to enjoy a fine lunch without worrying about getting sick later.
Coincidentally my luncheon companions also ordered selections that were gluten-free - though they made short work of a large plate of artisan bread set in the middle of our table. I ordered the grilled salmon (of course) and awaited it eagerly while our conversation soared into realms beyond our jobs and palm trees.
At one point I was extolling the virtues of Newport Bay Restaurant, at which time our waiter brought the food - just gorgeous and fragrant (the food, not the waiter). It all would have been so perfect except for the fact that somehow my order got botched somewhere between the ordering and the cooking. There before me was a magnificent salmon, lettuce and tomato SANDWICH!! I had to laugh as I sent it back to the kitchen. It was so ironic that the one person who couldn’t eat bread got sandwiched. I mused upon the strange complexities of life in a wheat-dominated world while I waited for my grilled salmon - as my companions murmured yummy-sounds through their gluten-free lunches. Still, though I had to wait a while, when my meal finally arrived it proved to be well worth the wait - a masterpiece on a plate. Thanks boss!!!
THIS WEEK’S PLANT CARE TIP: Palmistry
Since this week is Palm Sunday let’s talk about palm trees. Up here in the Pacific Northwest palm trees (with few exceptions) live inside bank lobbies, new car showrooms, hospital waiting rooms and office buildings. They are dramatic, elegant creatures that bring to mind warm tropic isles far away from our chilly, gloomy winter days. Warning: if you have one in your office you may frequently catch yourself daydreaming of Hawaiian vacations and Caribbean cruises.
Note: there are many kinds of palms and some plants that look like palms but aren’t palms. To care for your plant properly you really must know what kind of plant you have, so do a little research.
My personal favorite is the Kentia palm (Howea fosteriana - a native of Lord Howe Island down east of Australia where it is considered a “vulnerable” species). I am mesmerized by their wide, graceful fronds, their dark green coloring and their elegant personalities. They are aristocrats, one of the most expensive plants and challenging to tend. And they can be unforgiving if you make a mistake. (Most plant techs have killed kentias learning their ways.)
They are especially slow growing, shooting out only one or two fronds a year. And when they do produce a frond they are apt to shed a lower, older frond to balance themselves out. So essentially they stay the same shape their whole lives - unless you mess up their care in some way.
Kentias do not like their root drying out, nor will they tolerate being kept wet. Easy does it with these palms. The important thing is to assure that their crowns are always above the soil line (the crown is the thick point where the roots meet the trunk) - if they are planted so that the crowns are in damp soil they will rot off and you will have killed your first kentia.
Keep the crowns dry, provide adequate light and a little fertilizer in the growing season and your kentia can live for decades in your home or office. I keep a fifteen year old kentia in my living room that I decorated with lights for Christmas this year. But please don’t be tempted to chop off a few fronds for Palm Sunday decorations or it will be a dozen Palm Sundays before your kentia recovers!
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